"Blood is thicker than water." Whenever I hear someone say this, I can't help but think of those typical story lines of the loyal-to-the-bone son of a family monarch, roughing up the black sheep of the family for betraying the clan by joining forces with someone outside of their namesake. It's thanks to movies and TV shows like this that I've misunderstood the true meaning of this phrase, entirely.
Even before I knew what it really meant, the explanation of these words never seemed to make much sense. Family is more important than friends simply because of the name you happened to be born under? Relatives deserve more loyalty than companions simply because they don't have the same blood flowing through their veins? This way of thinking just didn't sit right with me.
Last year, we had a guest speaker come to our church and I was pleasantly surprised when he brought up this phrase. I can't say I was shocked by what he said, more relieved, because it confirmed what I had felt:
The original phrase actually reads,
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Its origin in a nutshell is that in ancient biblical times, covenants were made in blood. They would literally cut the animal open, together. This was done as a contract or promise, but also to create a lasting bond between two people. This displayed no ordinary friendship, but a connection that transcends the natural and exists in the supernatural realities of our hearts and our spirits. If you were to engage in a blood covenant, you were saying to your companion that you will forever be a part of them and they will forever be a part of you. As per the other part of the saying, the water of the womb speaks of the environment of a mother's uterus which would have been shared by siblings.
This got me thinking about John 15:13 which says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."
This, of course, is precisely what Jesus did. But why, out of all of the relationships that He could have used as an example of the greatest possible love, did He choose friend? He could have identified it as being between brother and brother, sister and sister, sibling and sibling, parent and child, yet He specifically used the word "friend." Not only this, but scripture also says that we are called not just children or followers, but friends of God.
Why so much emphasis on friendship?
Because while you do not have a choice of who your natural family is, you choose your friends.
Love is only true if it is freely chosen.
He wanted to be clear that He shared the Father's heart for humanity and was not dying for us out of duty to family (the Father, and humanity as his siblings), but out of love for His friends! He was setting an example for true family: love born from choice, not from duty. I believe this is why Jesus made a point to say that his natural born family is not His family, but those who believe what He says and choose to follow Him are His true brothers and sisters.
Think about it like this: The love a mother has toward her child is built in and instinctual: she does not choose to love her child, it just happens naturally. Likewise, you may think of a child loving their parents: It isn't because they chose to have those particular people as their mother and father, but they love them simply because they are their parents.
But to be a friend to someone? This involves a willful volitional desire and choice to enter into a relationship, a covenant bond.
The sacrifice of Jesus was a blood covenant, not just to bind us as children to the Father, but to invite us into a friendship with Him!
Now, please do not hear what I'm not saying: I'm not say that family is less important than friends, I'm not trying to discredit the strength of family bonds, or even say that the love shared in a family is not real or a permanent connection, but I am pointing out that there is greater intimacy and covenant to be found, even within your earthly family that is greater than the simple matter of shared lineage. While you may have a close relationship with your parents or siblings, "covenants of water" are not enough to bind souls together--Jesus Himself made that abundantly clear in the scriptural instances where He chose His spiritual family over His natural one; there must be blood involved, the sacrifice of Jesus to make a natural family much more than just a natural family, but a spiritual family that shares in the divine life together! The choice to be more than relatives, but friends with them, is where I believe the richness of God's plan for families really lies.
However, I know that not everyone is so fortunate to have that kind of covenant bond among those who are their natural born family. Maybe you have even experienced wounding and estrangement from family members. I want to leave you with encouragement straight from God's word:
"Even if my mother and father abandon me, the Lord will take care of me." (Psalm 27:10)
"A father to the fatherless, defender of widows---this is God in His holy dwelling. He puts the lonely in families..." (Psalm 68:5)
We are beings wired for intimacy, for commitment, for oneness with each other, just as Jesus prayed. I can testify that God has given me spiritual family who are not just mere friends that will come and go, but covenant brothers and sisters in Christ that will always be there to walk with me through the good and bad of life. They are truly "closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24), thanks to the greatest blood covenant of all.
The blood of Jesus is much thicker than the water of this world. Now that is a friend we can count on.
<3Hali
No comments:
Post a Comment